Trump and Christie … And the Bullies Shall Inherit the GOP

New Jersey Gov. Christ Christie, aka, “Jabba the Bully,” has officially endorsed Donald Trump, aka, “the Antichrist of NY,” for president. And somewhere in hell a little demon just got their wings.

A lot of political pundits were, so they claimed, shocked by this turn of events in a political season that was marked by many wild swings.  Actually, in a perverted and utterly shameful way, it makes perfect sense.

Love him or hate him (59% of New Jersey voters disapprove of the job Gov. Christie is doing), Jabba the Bully is a career politician that happens to be a pragmatist. As things stand, the republican presidential race has essentially become a three-man slog fest consisting of Donald Trump, Sen. Ted Cruz R-Texas, and Sen. Marc Rubio R-Fla.

Christie’s endorsement of Trump is based on three factors. First, he has made the political calculation that the Antichrist of NY might actually win enough delegates and get the republican nomination. Jabba the Bully might want to be on the short list for Vice President, or more likely, get a cabinet appointment. The Czar of Krispy Krème Doughnuts is a vacancy that he could fill.  

Second, Gov. Christie doesn’t like Ted Cruz, who he sees as political opportunist that represents the worst of Washington dysfunction, and he absolutely hates Marc Rubio, who he pummeled in the New Hampshire debate for being overly scripted. Third, Donald Trump wants Christie in his camp. The Antichrist of NY is really good at tweeting disparaging remarks about his opponents, and slinging mud at his campaign events. However,  despite all his reality star showmanship, Trump is unable to put a coherent noun and verb together to explain any of his policy views and therefore, Christie has been recruited to help in that department.  

 Christie’s decision to jump back into the presidential campaign alongside Trump, a mere two weeks after dropping out, is a colossal reversal of fortune for a popular Republican governor who three years ago was considered a leading 2016 presidential contender. In a cringe worthy interview, on ABC’s “This Week” the famously pugilistic governor, whose presidential campaign slogan was “telling it like it is,” had trouble explaining his support of Trump’s policies and instead sputtered inane platitudes about the electability of the billionaire businessman and former Atlantic City casino tycoon.

“Given the other options on the stage, let me tell you something, he's the strongest, best guy to be our nominee to beat Hillary Clinton and to be the next president of the United States.”

Not exactly a ringing endorsement from the guy that loves to tell people to sit down and shut up. But alas, Gov. Christie is really a “sad guy” that has come to the sobering realization that his political aspirations have turned to ash, and all his tough talk wont help him get back his mojo.

Adding fuel to the fire, some of Gov. Christie's former allies are no longer marching in lock step with him and instead have decided to attack his endorsement. One notable example, Hewlett-Packard CEO,  Meg Whitman, a former top supporter and  co-chair of Christie's national finance team issued a statement denouncing the governors endorsement as "an astonishing display of political opportunism."

Yup ... that pretty much sums it up.

So, to recap:  

Jabba the Bully has been reduced to endorsing Donald Trump,  and  the Republican establishment is working overtime to derail the good ship Trump before he can seal the deal.  David Duke and his KKK pals really like the Antichrist of NY, and he in turn, refuses to denounce them. And Jeb Bush is sitting at home, shaking his head in disbelief, asking himself "how did it go so horribly wrong?," while the rest of us are left wondering, when did the bullies come to inherit the GOP?